Friday, February 17, 2012

Dilema Seorang Ibu....................

Salam & hi....

Mungkin entry kali ni, agak serius.... Tiba2 ati jd sebak bila dpt tau sesuatu yg kita xduga...yg kita sndiri xrancang, dan yg kita sndiri belom sedia utk mndpt sesuatu yg kita sendiri xrancang dan duga ituuu....

Susah sbnrnyer nk terima kenyataan itu...bila mana kita belom sedia...belom sedia dr segala aspek!!dan bnda xdiduga ini juga...berpunca dr aku!!!!pendek kata kat sini...aku xsalah org lain....tp aku salahkn diri aku sendiri....kejadian ini xkn terjadi andai kata aku berjaga2....

Khamis, 21. Julai. 2011; 2.45am.....aku masih dapat rase detik2 ms kat dlm dewan bedah...aku masih dpt rase sakit nk bersalin tue....dan aku masih igt....bagaimana perasaan bila kali pertama tgk permata hati aku yg pertama....Walaupon da hampir 7bulan berlalu...tapi segala sakit perit penat jerih itu...masih segar...dan kesakitan nk bersalin itu...masih tebal dlm ingatan.....dan jgn xpercaya....kadang2 sakit tue dtg dlm senyap hingga sekarang...pedih, nyilu, bisa torehan itu..kadang2 datang tanpa diduga....mgkin meraka kata aku mereka cerita utk meraih simpati....tp ini kenyataan....dan ingin di highlitekan disini....AKU BERSALIN SECARA PEMBEDAHAN yer kawan2!!!!jd situasi aku berbeza dgn kalian yg bersalin secara normal!!!! Apalagi sekrg Alqish da lasak....kalu dia berdiri....dipijak2 nyer perot mami....aduhhhhh!!!!sakit xterkata....mmg kalu bukan ank sndiri...da makan tgn sapa yg pijat2 perot aku tue....p apa bley wat...ank sndiri!!!permata hati lak tue...sakit2 pon....tahan jugak!!!paling kuat aku wat pon....aku just ckp...."aqishh....perot mami sakit syg...jgn pijak.....sakit mami bersalinkn aqish xhilang lg...." tahan sakit tue..smpai mengalir air mata.....

Tempoh 7bulan, masih belom cukop utk merawat luka bersalin itu...diluar  nmpk cantik...mmg nmpk lawa, dan kering....skrg kesan pembedahan tue xmcm dulu...kalu zaman dulu...kesan jait tue...mcm nmpk replica lipan berwarna kulit yg melekat diperot!!!!pheuwwwww!!!menakutkan...bila corak lipan di perot....tp skrg x, wa ckp lu....pakai low waist nyer suar pon....masih leh cover....if perot cantik....kesan2 rekahan umpama tanah kering ketandusan air xde kat perot..uolssss still leh vogue mcm dolu2....TETAPI!!!!!didlm pewot uolsssss hanya Tuhan yg tahuuuuu....bagaiman belana nyer luka itu....sbb tue...da hmpir 7bulan pon....aku masih dpt rase sakit itu....

Mengikut kata doc...bagi ibu yg bersalin c-zer ni....tempoh utk mengandung balik...dorg bg masa 3thn!!!!!!lama kan....tp apa bleh wat....sbb tu, ramai yg xnk bersalin c-zer...aku dulu xnk c-zer, kunun takut gemok...takut badan xturun..tp alhmdllah....kini bnda tue xjd masalah lg....sbb aku da dpt berat badan yg ideal wpon masih belom puas!!!!but ok la...aku puas ati, sbb da leh sarung sume bj size xs n sume suar jeans aku size 25-26!!!tapi kalu rujuk pada pakar swasta....ni aku dgr sndiri....dan untung utk aku...sbb kakak ipar aku...nurse utk ward bersalin....5thn dia dok tercangok jd nurse sambut baby!!!!so aku percaya dgn sume nasihat dan kata2 dia....menurut kata dia....luka itu amek masa 6bulan untuk sembuh!!!!dan sekurang2nyer...if terlajak gear....tggu la 10bulan,,,,paling kurang 10BULAN yerrr!!!!!means ank ko yg bersalin c-zer tue 10bulan br ko preg balik!!!!!tapi pon...masih tidak digalakkan...sbb nnt ko akan take time utk recover lepas bersalin....dan sesungguhnyer utk 2nd baby ni nnt...ko akan ditorehkan sekali lagi....ats sbb2, rahim ko masih melekat sbb luka xsembuh lagi, rahim lemah, dan ko xyah tggu due....kandungan masuk 8bulan...ko da leh tgk ank ko tue.....sbb dorg takut nnt perot ko meletop lak...takut jaitan tue merakah....cam aku dulu badan naik 24kg!!!!gilokkkkkkkkk.....mmg ...haishhhh...nauzubillah!!!!

So paling bagus kakak ipar aku ckp....18bulan.....tggu 18bulan if nk preg lagi...dan kemgkinan ko dpt bersalin normal tue tggi 70%!!!!lg 30% kes2 emergency....baby lemas, tali pusat berpintal, n yada-yadaaa.....tp pada aku....aku xkesah da skrg...aku berserah pada takdir...utk 2nd baby ni....c-zer ke normal ke...jji bb selamat....

Jom layan Gambar ni kejap!!!!cer korang pk kan....apa yg ade pada gambar2 ni yer....

pikirkan........ date : 14/2/2012

atau mgkin lebih jelas yg ini :-

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Apa kata hati korg!!!!!  :-

1. Bajet cun je minah ni!!!xsedar diri mak org...
2. Perot buncit dowhhhhhh....xmaluuuuuuuuuuu
3. Khonon howtttt letuewwwww......
4. ieeeuwww...xkuasa nk layan....
5. Aku lagi cantik dr ko....

Atau mgkin...anda berkata begini :-

6. Ok la su...even pas salin...ko still cam dulu gak....
7. Chomel.......
8. Cantikkkkk......
9. Lantak ko la nak...ko da besar......
10. Share sket apa rahsia.....

ok....korg da pilih jwpn korg...atau korg ade jawapan sendiri...ke korg nk tnya aku....da kenapa ngan pic2 ni?????ok...meh sini nk habaq kat hangpa suma......
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Yessssssssssssssssss...diriku Hamil!!!!!kini sudah 2bulan dan 1mggu!!!!

Kerana itue la...sume gambr2 sy skrg..muncit dedepan!!!!SAYA DILEMAAAAAA SKRG!!!!pening, pengsan, nk mati, nk terjun bangunan!!!!!sy tolak takdir????ouhhhh tidak!!!!sy bukan tolak reziki yg tuhan bagi...sy sedar ramai2 kawan2 diluar sana yg sgt inginkan cahaya mata...tp masih belom diberikan reziki wpon da 2thn kawen, 4thn, dan ade smpai da kawen 10-15thn...pon masih xde zuriat...at last amek ank angkat!!!!

Ramai kawan2 terdekat yg marah aku...dan ramai juga yg bg galakan dan dorongan!!!tatapi aku....apa kata hati aku???penah x korg cuba tempatkan diri korg dlm diri aku selepas apa yg aku bebelkan kat ats td???Alqish still kechik...dan paling penting...sakit aku yg dulu masih lagi terasa....aku da rujuk ramai pihak...dan mereka menyatakan....sekiranya bnda itu membahayakan nyawa kita...xsalah utk kita "menyucikan" tetapi pastikan sblm mencecah 120hr...jika lebih..hukumnyer haram...aku mls nk ckp lebih pasal ni..sbb aku pon bukan bijak pandai...masih naif lg utk membincangkan soal agama.... apa kata korg sndiri baca kat sini :- Fatwa Malaysia tentang kes PENGUGURAN!!!!!SILA BACA... TAPI selepas tahu, aku masih rase bersalah...kerana ade sesetengah pihak yg menyatakan aku ini PEMBUNUH!!!!!!!sampai hati korg :(( korg tau x bertapa sedehnyer aku bila korg ckp...."sampai hati ko su....ko nk jd pembunuh ke????", "nk buang 1nyawa su....sedangkan ni sume salah ko!!!!" YESSSS...AKU, akui ni salah aku!!!!mmg salah aku.....

Korang, aku bukan pembunuh!!!!korg xde dlm situasi aku...korg xtau...dan kini...aku masih di dalam ward...da 2mlm aku bertapa dlm bilik sakit ni.....aku mengalami pendarahan yg trok...doc kata rahim aku lemah...dan lebih mengejutkan....aku ade Ovarian Cysts....masih dlm jagaan doc...si kecil ini masih sihat...tp masih tetap bleeding....jika cysts itu besar lebih 2cm...aku perlu dibedah utk buang bnda tue...YA ALLAH.....kuatnyer dugaan mu......semoga hr esk masih ade utk aku!!!kawan2 doakan aku dan baby sihat yer.....amin....pape aku updates korg!!!!

Wassalam......

21 comments:

  1. sabar yer sue.. ni semua dugaan Allah..hope ko tabah n cepat sembuh

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